Sheogorath: The Mad Daedric Prince
by Rising Justice
Summary: Watch as the history of Sheogorath unfolds before you. As he pulls pranks on the other Daedric Lords. Driving them INSANE!
1. Chapter 1 Introduction

Disclaimer: I do not own The Elder Scrolls.

_Chapter 1: Introduction_

Sheograth, the Mad Daedra Prince, and of other things. Was very, very bored, so for amusement, he kept sending Haskil out into the palace grounds, and summon him over and over again. For some reason he liked summoning Haskil over and over again. Sheograth always enjoyed Haskil's tone. But now it was getting boring really, really, really fast. "Humph. What's so great about being a Daedric Prince? There's nothing to do but sit on your throne all day. Doing what? NOTHING!" Sheograth yelled out. "Might I make a suggestion, my lord?" asked Haskil in his usual tone. "Does it include fun? Does it include some sort of madness?" asked Sheograth. "Yes. It's quite simple. It'll drive anyone mad, even a Daedric Lord." "Ooooooh now that sounds very, very, very, very FUN!!! I hope this is good. Or else I'll be jumping rope with your intestines!!!" laughed Sheograth. "All you need is a staff, and an enchanter." "Go on. Before I change my mind and skip jump with your intestines. Unless my mind changes on me first." Sheograth said. "Have you ever gotten annoyed with Dagon's Scamp servants?" "Yes, yes, and yes. They smell like crap and they make very weird sounds with their tongues why?" "Because" said Haskil "Because the enchanter will create a staff, that will summon four scamps. But they won't kill the staff owner. They'll follow him around. And if he kills all of the scamps they will be summoned again. An infinity number of times to be exact. And the owner will have some unspeakable bond that makes him want to keep this staff. The only way to get rid of it is if you give it to some willing person who wishes to acquire it. Or they need to drop the staff at one of your shrines over in Tamriel." Haskil said calmly. "That is the best prank ever! It'll drive me insane. Although I'm already insane enough. Come on, summon the enchanter! Quickly, quickly now! I have not time to lose!"

_Author's Note: Yep, my very first story. R and R. I promise to update soon. Hope you enjoyed my story. _


	2. Chapter 2 The Court Enchanter

_Author's Note: I do not own Sheogorath. Nor do I own Oblivion. But I wish I did. I also spelled Sheogorath wrong. But I am too lazy to correct my spelling. So yep._

_Chapter 2: The Court Enchanter_

"THREE DAYS?!?!?" said Sheogorath in a furious tone. The enchanter had said the staff needed three days to be fully enchanted so it would be able to work to its full potential.

"I….I am sorry milord, it's just…just that in order to have" The Enchanter was about to wet his pants. The Enchanter had always feared Daedric Lords, especially this one. And unfortunately, he was the strongest Enchanter in the Shivering Isles. "…have the staff work into its full potential, you must give it three days in order for the full enchantment to sink in." The Enchanter was very, very scared of Lord Sheogorath. Mainly because the guy was a freaking nut.

Sheogorath was about to turn the enchanter inside out when all of a sudden he thought of the best idea since the staff of Wabbajack. Sheogorath smiled his usual insane smile. Took a cup of Ale, and drank it down in one gulp. "You…..what's your name lad?" asked Sheogorath calmly. Surprised by Sheogorath's calmness, the enchanter answered the question. "My…my name is Surendale…..milord." Surendale bowed before Sheogorath. "Ah, what a fine name lad. I have a job proposition for ye. How would you like it if you became the court enchanter? And if you decline you'll be thrown into a pit of mountain lions that I had captured during one of my many famous trips to Tamriel. Whaddya say?"

If Surendale had a choice, he would try and say no in the nicest way as possible. But unfortunately for him, it was either say yes, or be mauled to death by Mountain Lions. "I'll become your Court Enchanter milord." said Surendale. "_I am screwed" _Surendale thought to himself.

"Wonderful! Wonderful! You have pleased Lord Sheogorath. Now off with ye! And be back here by noon! Or else I'll have you be playing with my ever so playful Mountain Lions!!!!!" then Sheogorath laughed an insane man's laugh.

Surendale walked out of the palace doors. Wishing he had been killed by the Guardian of the Gate of Madness.


	3. Chapter 3 Midnight Meeting

_Chapter 3: Midnight Meeting_

It had been one day since he became the court enchanter. It was very….interesting, working for Sheogorath. Considering that he always requires a nightly bedtime story, which must be read exactly at eleven o' clock. Surendale's house was up for sale. He now had a room in the palace. It had an enchanting alter, spellmaking alter, and it also came with a motor and pestle and a pair of Filled Lesser Soul Gems. The Staff was almost ready. All it needed was a Filled Grand Soul Gems put inside the staff. It was an easy task.

Surendale took out his palace key and opened the door to his quarters. Inside, sitting on a chair, sipping a cup of tea was Sheogorath. "WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!?" Surendale jumped back in fright. "You're very funny. I like funny. What caused you to jump anyway?" Sheogorath looked around the living room, trying to see if there was a ghost or a wraith."

"Wha..Wha..What are you doing in my private quarter's milord?" Surendale's heart missed a heartbeat. "What am I doing? I came for the staff. Is it ready yet?" asked Sheogorath while sipping his cup of tea.

"Staff?" asked Surendale. "Yes, my staff." "I still need to add the Grand Soul Gem to it." said Surendale. "But you said it will be ready in two days!" said Sheogorath angrily. "But sir, it's not even Saturday yet." Said Surendale. "Oh yes it is. Look, it's twelve twenty two. It has been Saturday for twenty two minutes." "Sir, I am very sorry, but you'll have to wait until morning." Said Surendale. "Fine. But it better be ready. Or else I'll be jumping rope with your intestines." Sheogorath then laughed as he was going out the door.

"By Azura, does he even have an ounce of sanity in him?" thought Surendale to himself. He then closed the door, changed into his night clothes, and preceded to bed. But before Surendale's head could hit the soft pillow, he heard a knock on his door. "YES!!!!" said Surendale as loudly as possible. It was Haskill. "Milord has requested that you read him a bed time story again." Said Haskill. "_BY THE NINE DIVINES HE JUST WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!" _so Surendale redressed himself and was walking as fast as he can towards Sheogorath's private quarters. "_It's good having all this help around here." _ Thought Haskill to himself.


	4. Chapter 4 Surendale

Chapter 4: Surendale's Real Name

"Ah Surendale, please do me a favor."

"Please Talos, please let it not be another bedtime story." Begged Surendale on his knees.

"Tell me a bedtime story."

"DAMN!! By the Nines! Why Me!" Surendale thought to himself.

The little Wood Elf walked towards Sheogorath's elaborate bed. Sheogorath's bed was tow colors split down the middle. One color was red, for Mania, and the other color was blue, for Dementia. He slept right on the border. Sheogorath loved Surendale's stories. But he never heard a name like Surendale. Bosmers were always weird.

After Surendale told Sheogorath's bedtime story. Sheogorath asked him a curious question. "What kind of name is Surendale anyways? Sounds like ya lied to me. What's your real name? And if ya don't tell, well you'll be hauled off to the pit of mountain lions. SO out with it!!!"Sheogorath said.

Surendale quivered under his booming voice. "Lord Sheo…Sheogorath, sir… I guess I have to tell you my real name. I...its Bregor." Said Bregor

"Bregor?" asked Sheogorath, almost not believing him.

"Yes. Bregor."

Sheogorath laughed very hard and very loudly. So loud, in fact that it woke Thadon up from his deep sleep. Which is very hard to, considering Thadon eats Felldew and Greenemote just about everyday. "What the..?" Thadon fell back to his bed, unconscious from the amount of Skooma, Greenmote, and Felldew he had eaten and drinken. Not surprisingly, Sheogorath granted Thadon a high resistance to the drugs bad effects. The only drug that could possibly kill him was three portions of Greenmote. This could cause anyone's heart to explode shortly after eating the three portions.

"AH my boy! There's nothing to be a shame about of your own name! But I am a very tired Daedric Prince. SO I require yet, another bedtime story. Tell me the one about the Troll and the Bridge again.

Bregor sighed as he proceeded to tell Sheogorath bedtime stories again.


End file.
